A Woman's Relationship with Food Reflection

            In my blog post “A Woman’s Relationship with Food,” I really enjoyed the topic about which I wrote, and I had many points I wanted to make in the post. However, I struggled with the structure of my piece in my first draft, and I ended up not going into as much detail as I wanted. This caused my thesis to be under-supported and for my argument to be a little hard to follow.

As you can see in the screenshot above of my first draft, I ended up splitting my personal anecdote up into two different paragraphs, which made it not as effective. However, in my second draft, I was able to organize my ideas better and elaborate on them more. I started by saying that “society expects women to uphold impossible standards, especially in regards to our bodies,” which shows my overarching theme. After elaborating on that for a sentence or two, I state my thesis that this impossible body standard “causes women to have a love-hate relationship with food,” which I then elaborated on in the next few sentences. After stating my thesis and my reasoning behind it, I then started a new paragraph where I discuss my personal anecdote about my personal relationship with food and how gymnastics impacted this relationship. Through this blog post and through the process of revising it, I learned the importance of regarding writing as a process, the third outcome of the course. To do this, I had to take into account the revisions Ms. Li had, and I also had to reevaluate and reanalyze what I wanted to say and how I could say it in a more efficient manner. This involved reorganization of the blog post and going into more detail, so I had better evidence to support my thesis.